plz talk dirty to me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
