And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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