I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize