Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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