Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
