Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
