I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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