That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
