make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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