I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
