just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You ate ashes out of my bong
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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