He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
