Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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