I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
