haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
