the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
