You're my little dorito
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
