walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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