No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
false alarm, still single
Randomize
