There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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