You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
