I CAN MOONWALK!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
