that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This show inspires me to have sex in space
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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