she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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