You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
