So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
