I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sorry about my life...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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