And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
