I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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