hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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