yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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