So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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