Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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