hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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