Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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