like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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