Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
