that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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