I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
