Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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