To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
