You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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