Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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