I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
