I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
