Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I looked at my own cervix.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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