Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we're so committed to being not committed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
