Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
