Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
