No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
