So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize