I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
