arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
