Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
