yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
