Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
