Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
