You smell like a Billy Joel song
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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