How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
