well you can't waste a boner
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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